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Gambling Articles and Tips - Top 10 Ways To Lose in a Casino

Are you feeling guilty about taking the casinos' money? Are you uncomfortable carrying all that disposable cash? Are you tired of not having to borrow gas money from friends and family? Is being financially solvent just too complicated to deal with?...Here's help.

Listed below are the top ten pre-tested, guaranteed, sure-fire ways to break that nasty winning streak. Simply follow one or more of these ten guidelines the next time you visit a casino and everyone will be feeling sorry for you in no time at all. You'll not only be getting all that 'tsk-tsk' sympathy you've been missing, you'll also have that strange warm feeling of cleanliness pouring over you like hot syrup.....You know the 'clean' feeling we're talking about; - the one that comes only from going broke. It's a special feeling reserved for those gamblers with a genuine deep-seated (but sometimes unconscious) need to lose...After all, why do you think losers say such things as, "I've been cleaned out," or "They took me to the cleaners," or "I took a bath," or "I was wiped out?"

No, these ten ways aren't the only good ways to lose. There are plenty of others. But if you stick with only these ten, you won't need a longer list. Trust me.

1. Always bet more than you can afford to lose. This might be the best way of all to get rid of unwanted assets. Gamble with the rent money, or with the alimony payment, or the grocery money, or the car payment. By betting more than you can afford to lose, you figure to have that solvency monkey off your back in no time. It's hard to keep winning when all you can think about is whether or not you'll have a roof over your head next week.

2. Keep increasing the sizes of your bets. Regard the size of your next bet as a pry bar, either to get even after a losing streak or to 'push' a winning streak. Changing the size of your bets constitutes using a progressive betting system - whether or not such changes in your bet size have been carefully pre-planned - and progressive betting systems are wonderfully effective at unloading unwanted cash. Consider doubling up after a losing day in order to get even, or why not double up after a winning day?

3. Always bet according to your hunches. Betting according to hunches is a real nifty short-cut to Tap City. If you feel like you're 'due' a blackjack even though you've seen a lot of aces dealt, increase the size of your bets. Or if you get a hunch that a particular slot machine is ready to pay out, load up with coins and don't let anyone stop you from playing until that sucker hits. After all, you remember that time you had a hunch and it came true, don't you?

4. If you're a craps player, be sure to make lots of exotic bets. Anybody will win now and then at craps if they bet only on 'pass' and 'don't pass' or those other low-percentage cowardly propositions. Those sissy bets don't have nearly enough odds against you. If you're trying to get rid of cash, always take the longshot bets at craps, such as hard ways or the field or any craps, etc...

5. Whenever you gamble, be tired, drink up, and flirt like crazy. Breaking this rule could be one of the reasons you've been winning in the first place. How can you expect to lose if you're alert and paying attention? Always stay up too late, drink plenty of booze, and try to get a date with the dealer or with another player at your table; - that's just good common sense.

6. Play lots of keno, lotteries and/or Big Six. One reason you may have been winning is that you haven't been battling big enough odds. When you're trying to go broke, unfair odds can be a big help. Play plenty of keno, lotteries, Big Six (also called 'The Big Wheel'), and certain other big-payoff games. With their overwhelming odds going against you, these games should be a big part of your repertoire.

7. Play games you know nothing about. Never read books or articles by experts about how to play certain games before you gamble. That's for whooses. Always learn new games while you're actually playing them with real money. Never practice beforehand at home. Otherwise you might accidentally learn something profitable.

8. Always be sure to impress people with the size of your bets. Members of the opposite sex are really attracted to people who lose vast amounts of money. Big losers look very sexy...And don't forget, the more you lose, the more comps you're likely to get from the casino. It's important to impress the pit bosses with your big losses. It's a great way to get a free buffet.

9. Consider winning or losing as a direct test of your self worth. Remember, only a wimp quits gambling during a losing streak. Real men and women keep betting until they either win big or go broke. You don't want to be a wimp, do you? Keep betting. Get mad if you have to.

10. Act on superstition. If superstition can't cure your solvency problem, your winning streak may be tougher to overcome than I thought. If you win because you're playing at your lucky blackjack table, or because the dice are green and green is your lucky color, or because you're wearing your lucky panties or jockey shorts - or whatever - your problem of solvency might require especially intense attention. You might have to apply more than one of these ten guidelines at the same time.

If these ten guidelines fail to unload your unwanted cash, you'd better resign yourself to being the luckiest son-of-a-gun on the planet...I'm afraid you'll just have to live with it.

J. R. Miller was featured in The NEW YORK TIMES, Business Section, November, 1997, as one of this nation's top two sports handicappers. He wrote the best selling book of it's kind, HOW PROFESSIONAL GAMBLERS BEAT THE PRO FOOTBALL POINTSPREAD, and he edits PROFESSIONAL GAMBLER Newsletter. Both the book and newsletter are available on the web at http://www.professionalgambler.com